Sunday, 4 September 2016

Are you acting like an empty shell?

I just realized how I never ever again want to be an empty shell.
Maybe you know these thoughts that I had some five to ten years ago. I thought I need to act as if I am fine, just because other people tend to like people who are fine more than people who are not. Or because I thought that people only want to see the nice and shiny bits, even if they are not real.
My thoughts were so wrong.
I thought I have to act like I am okay. But that made me exhaustingly inauthentic.
I don't want to cultivate bathing in drama, not at all. I also don't want to annoy or even burden my close friends with my emotional garbage.
But I also don't want to act as if I am fine when I'm not. I'll just tell people that I am feeling quite odd, maybe I'll just take more time for myself. Or I'll share my feelings with someone who is okay with it and has the time and energy at that moment and can distance him or herself. I guess I'll mention my emotional state and warn the people and I really want to give them all of my understanding and love if they aren't ready to cope with me. That's okay.
I just won't be an empty shell anymore.
And I love all of the people around me. Everything is fine. It's okay the way it is. All feelings are okay. I am feeling God or Life or however the Unnameable shall be named in such a strong way. I know everything is okay, everything is going the right way.
Posted by at

11 comments:

  1. Unknown27 September 2016 at 13:16

    I know these feelings and thoughts, but the truth is people do love YOU. They do not want you to act like someone else. You got to love yourself so others can. And you should be who you are 'cause this is why your friends are your friends. Because they love YOU and not you acting like being someone else. You know what I mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anny28 September 2016 at 10:45

      I totally know what you mean, this is what I wanted to express with my post. <3
      Thank you for reading :) <3

      Delete
  2. Hatem Kotb11 December 2016 at 14:58

    I can totally relate :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anny11 December 2016 at 15:05

      Thank you for making me smile :)
      I guess deep down many of us know these feelings but often don't find the courage to open up. I really hope that we can find the strength because I'm sure the outcome will be rewarding.

      Delete
    2. Hatem Kotb11 December 2016 at 15:30

      I believe those who really want to be around you will be, regardless how you feel, regardless of your ups and downs, regardless of how many times you want to just 'be alone'. I sometimes feel that I can't stand being with people, but I try to hold a smile and a nice conversation. Other times I apologize and just give myself some space. There is never a perfect situation, only self-compassion and understanding.
      You're perfectly normal and the term 'empty shell' will probably stick with me for a while. I don't want to be an empty shell. Cheers :).

      Delete
    3. anny11 December 2016 at 15:58

      I am sure they are and will be.
      Sounds like the right path.
      I wish you all the best.

      Delete
  3. anny11 December 2016 at 15:57

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1 January 2017 at 13:24

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1 January 2017 at 13:26

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1 January 2017 at 13:30

    An old friend of mine once said "you cannot heal the people you love, when they dont want to share, even if you can reach there heart". Maybe you can try to share; not only the bright moments of your life, also those that are deep inside, those of uncertainity, insecureniss, unease, shakeniss and those old memories with their feelings. I am sure that would strengths the bond between you and those, who you choose to be in your life. I know that you may have opend your heart once and it did hurt badly, not only you, but those, who were there for you. But we shouldnt be afraid from ourselves and we should give ourself another Chance and the people we love. Open your heart and you will find peace, serenity and tranquillity. I wish you all the Best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anny3 January 2017 at 06:40

      Thank you for taking your time to read and comment :)
      I have experienced the same, I cannot reach the ones around me that have shut themselves.
      And sometimes I myself am so shut down that I cannot even reach myself.
      What I am learning at the moment is, that we love not only for others, but also for ourselves. And we give and help not only for others, but actually a lot because we are feeling better with it, too. This puts everything into a new perspective for me.
      I wish you a beautiful 2017, much love

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)